Deep Down I've Always Been a Mama at Heart

In honour of Valentine’s Day, I am sharing something for my son and daughter to show them how much I love them and how much I longed to be their mother even before they were a part of my life. Several years ago my husband and I were ready to start a family but it took time, longer than I had anticipated. We didn’t necessarily have any major problems to get pregnant it was really just all about timing. But back then it was difficult for me, the waiting. I didn’t realize just how much I wanted to be a mother until I was trying to conceive and it wasn’t happening the way I expected. Looking back now I know that this was how it was meant to be and I firmly believe that the timing of when our son and our daughter came into our lives is exactly how it should have been.

You may have wondered how I came up with the name of my blog. It actually is a name I came up with before I was ever pregnant. It was the name I used in an online community I joined to chat with other women like me who were trying to conceive and start a family. This poem describes how I felt during that time and gives you some insight to the story of Mama @ Heart.

Hopeful,

imagining the possibilities of what the future holds

and dreams that can be made.

But time goes on,

month by month,

hope turns to worry, to doubt

and dreams begin to fade.

My mind wanders and wonders

if things are meant to be,

and I find myself longing for someone

I cannot touch, nor see.

Yet they are in my mind’s eye

and a love for them begins to grow,

an unconditional love, so pure

and stronger than I’ll ever know.

Patiently I wait, though difficult,

for this next chapter I am ready to start

because deep inside I already am

a Mama at heart.

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